arbitrary stuff that comes to mind: whenever I feel like thinking aloud

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Marriage: it's not about me, it's not about you: it's about us

The Value's in the picture
the photograph, not the frame
Velvet, Teak and Silver
do not recall their names

To keep alive the memories
of friends and colleagues past
renew their smiling faces:
look through beyond the Glass
Thursday, December 9: just after 5:30 in the evening Lanie and Jacques will tie the knot, and I will have the great privilege of being there, to observe and celebrate that most important thing we do: commit to a future.

What is the thing that we do, this marriage?
And is it still relevant?

"Up till now, to just this moment before, to know you, all I had to do was to know you". This is what my grandmother said, and she continued "but after this moment, to know you I must also know this person next to you".

There is something subtly profound about that.

In this age, where it's all about you, all about me, all about self-expression and finding ourselves: marriage takes a different view. Marriage is a coming to terms of difference. The bringing together of two lives in the hope, in the prayer that much more will emerge from the union than could be had from the separation.
It is not just about finding your soulmate, it's not just about love ever after: although of course we all hope that that is what you will ultimately gain. It's a knowing, it's the knowing that you are planting the seeds of a garden, and a belief that if you look after that garden, a flowering will endure through to the ends of days.

Having said all that I was wondering: I was wondering about wedding presents. What do you give to a colleague? The strength of the relationship grew through the interaction of many people, not just the two of us. When I stand in the church tomorrow, and listen to the vows, the shadows of others will be around me, the colleagues in the team, a small community who I had the privilege of being a part of for such a short, much too short a period of time.

In memory of them, and as a way of having them with me, my gift to Lanie and Jacques is a framed photograph of the engagement party that we had after she announced that the journey had begun. You can see it there below :-) Doesn't she look cute? Not to mention happy! Don't we all :-D?


Lulu said...

I love this! After almost 30 years together, it is about US that requires the determination of enjoying day by day US.

Cyril Souchon said...

Thank you for sharing that Lulu! You are the living proof that the sum is more than the parts!

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