arbitrary stuff that comes to mind: whenever I feel like thinking aloud

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Unchanging Rules of the Computer

The Unnamed Mimeo Sheet Laws

1. It will not work the first time.
2. It probably will not work on the second attempt.
3. Immediately after you walk away from the printer, the paper will jam.
4. If you fail to back up your disk, something will destroy the file.
5. All software contains a bug, which you will discover at the least opportune moment.
Corollary:  It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
6.Computers are not really smart. They're fast.

The Computer Programming Laws

1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
2. Any given program costs more and takes longer.
3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
4. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
5. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
6. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
7. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

Farmer's Almanac Computer Maxim

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology

There's always one more bug.


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